Silly Boy

I was thinking about this picture today but wasn't sure where I'd put it.  With Scott's help I was able to find it.  Vito loved being silly as this picture captures so well.  Vito's father gave us this picture, it was taken at Nick's wedding reception.  I'm told that's a mushroom in his mouth.

Vito circa 1992

Happy Thanksgiving!

Veteran's Day and 9 years

Lynn and Vito making snow forts, winter 96-97

     It's been 9 years today since we lost Vito.  As I write the tears inevitably come and I think about how different this day is from the one 9 years past.  It was a Sunday back then.  Our usual Sunday ritual is Scott walks to the store to get the paper while I make coffee.  When he comes back home we sort the paper together, his pile, my pile and the recycle pile.  Then we drink our coffee and read the paper.  Nine years ago we were deep in grief.  Scott did manage to go buy the paper and we sorted it to keep ourselves busy.  When we tried to read it we couldn't.  For weeks after that I couldn't read the Sunday paper.  I would go through the motions but nothing sank in.  Still, even now, reading the Sunday paper reminds me of that day, the day I couldn't read it.


     Today, November 11th, 2010, was very different from November 11th, 2001.  I started putting paneling up in our closet, did the laundry and other household chores, cooked dinner and only cried a little.  The heavy weight of grief has lightened.  I can still feel those scars that came from carrying all that weight.  They're tight, stiff and yet frail, but I can breathe and smile and carry on a bit easier now.  I miss him deeply.  I love him.  He made me a better person, a better Mom.  He taught me lessons no one else could.  I'm forever grateful and indebted to him, my son, Vito.

Baseball and Baby Bump

Vito at 6 weeks

So cute and happy, no date on the pic, 2-3 months I believe

I had Nick snap this pic just before we went to the hospital.  I'm in active labor and wearing the only clothes that would fit me for the past week.   We had just gotten home from my in-laws whose friends were visiting with their new baby.  I held the tiny newborn in my arms gazing at her in awe and aching for my baby to hurry up and arrive.  Less than 2 hours later that night my water broke.